The fly said… Feb. 2016

Lunatic belays the trust.
A trail of lies,
Left in the dust.
May she did.
Maybe, no why,
Flew over the clouds and
Way opened her mouth.

The flutter,
Its’ wings,
Tickled down in her swallow.
The tunnel,
The throat;
Neck and neck to the fly,
Spoke only three words
As she passed;
“I know why.”


what a mess

Its such a mess
When the brains fall out
Thoughts pile up
On the floor.
What are they for?
My amusement
Or yours?
So long ago
I met her through him.
A simple manage,
Of three before,
To analyze my motives
To enjoy,
Nothing more.
And that i did
For me and for him,
To share all the senses
Without jealousy
At its core.
It isn’t so hard
For frienship to grow
With the freedom to explore
Those thoughts
On the floor?

Free dumb?

All they try to do is belong
Are they longing to be?
When you belong
To a group,
Or another,
Is that when you actually
Come to be?
A being is.
The longing an adjective.
I can be
Without longing.
Can i belong to another,
Without longing to belong?
Can another being
Belong to me,
Without longing to belong to me?
Do i belong with a group
And never long for the group?
Does the group i belong to
Long for me?
We cry for freedom
Or is it really feedom?
Or is free dumb
Or dominium?
Isn’t dominium to dominate?
complete power to use,
To enjoy,
And to dispose of property at will.
We long to belong
To a society based on
Being free to use,To be used,
To enjoy, be enjoyed,
To dispose of, be disposed of
At will.


I laugh.
It seems silly,
The things that I write.
Were do my thoughts roam?
When I’m left alone.

To driving through deserts
Ropes tied ’round my wrists.
“Why fearful”I ask myself,
“is this not a gift?”

It is what I’ve asked for
It makes me feel whole.
Wrapped up and swaddled
Not able to grow.

The fantasy returns to
Rites passed
In this season.
To become the girl
Found without
Rhyme or reason..

I warned my daughter
That if if this occurs,
That I enjoyed every minute.

My sickness concurs.

That was last year
When I spoke of it first.
The pleasure of pain
That my heart so deserves.

I wondered why her mom
Would spill
Twisted beans.

What in the hell?
Then I laugh.
Laugh and smile.

“Don’t worry my darling,
It’s been worth all the while.”

Miss Understood

When finally it surfaced
Brings fear to the plate.
No comfort,
Real friendship?
It seems much too late.

Are they seperate and playing
Or one split in four?
Not sure,
Who I’m dealing with.

Might shut the door.

The stories;
They tell me
(All locked in my head.)
Send shivers;
A quiver.
Is death at my door?

One of them poignant
Articulate strong.
Inspires me to writing,
Is that really so wrong?

Another is distant.
Uninterest it seems,
But here none the less
To contribute the scheme.

The simple one fills
A working class roll.
Appears a bit different
But less in control.

The new one,
He scares me.
Too rough ’round the edge.
Provoking the stories
They wrote in my head.

All of them strangers.
I now let them close.
Am I such a foolish
Girl without a net?

I don’t expect loyalty.
That’s always too much
From any I’ve ever met,
Or been drawn to touch.

The thoughts
We do think alike,
Scare me the most.
Too soon to tell truthfully
If its just a ghost.

A whisper from inside
“This might be your hope.
The one who will bleed you,
Then hang you from rope.”

There might not be time
To walk away now.
The choice isn’t easy
Without a doubt.

Which ever direction;
Whom ever I meet;
The stories keep on growing,
‘Til I plead defeat.

That won’t ever happen.
I would if I could.
A million times over.
I’m miss understood.

No memories

“Are they starting to
Forget the agony?”

Abrasive twit.

Swindling his way
To their brain.
Ripping me
from their hearts?
It’s insane.

Manipulative narcissist
Dragging MY name.

Over the coals
For his own selfish gain.

Near his death bed
He wished to be with
MY dad dying.

The decent would find me
Through friends that we knew.

To bring me the message
He thought..
“Screw you!”

“If she wasn’t fucked up
As i used to be.”
“She would have already 
Known of this tragedy.”

“I will wait for
The funeral,
And bring her the noose”
To sign off parental rights.
“I’ll light the fuse.”

“She doesn’t deserve 
To have children,
Her own.”
Have i broken enough of her will?
“Bring it on!”

What a coward,
What a douche!
To think up such a plan.
To bury the mother
Of his own children.

On top of all this
“Think i can
I won’t miss!
Make muddy HER name
With in HER family bliss.”